Ever have the moments where you text or Facebook message someone and you never get a response back? Or if you do, it is much later and you know you can’t respond back because it is already too late in the day? Yeah, that’s how I’m feeling right now. I’m a bit upset and I wanted to talk to some people about it and I sent out 5-10 text messages and I maybe got 2 or 3 back, if that.
Of course, this makes me anxious that I am waiting for a reply, depressed that I haven’t gotten a response, and angry because usually these people are great at responding, even when they have a quick moment.
I know the world doesn’t revolve around me so don’t say that, but I do everything I can to respond to a message when someone needs to talk to me about something. Even while at work, if I have a moment, I’ll respond. May not be the best one, but it is one.
There are times actually where I go a whole day and my phone will not go off once, or if it does, it is for a notification, not a text message or phone call.
Sometimes, I just need someone. Especially when I’m feeling down, lonely, etc.
As many of you are aware, I have both anxiety and depression. I have suffered through these for a long time, and it was its worst when I was college. College was fun, yes, but when my grades suffered and I didn’t have much or many people to turn to, that is what made it harder. Just last weekend, I had a panic attack in my sleep. I was sleeping pretty well and then I woke up, got nervous about who knows what, and couldn’t breathe.
With that all being said, I’m not the person who you thought I was/am. I have been thought to be suicidal at times and while that may be true to some, I have been stronger than before and haven’t thought in a while.
Now, comes the part with The Semicolon Movement. Those with a semicolon as a tattoo get them to show that they could have ended their life, but decided to keep going. I have thought about getting one for myself, but I am unsure at the moment. If I were to get one, it would be green since green is my favorite color.
To those (like myself) that suffer through anxiety, depression, bipolar, or any other metal illness, you are not alone. We are all in this together and I love you all (as a friend). If you need anything, leave a comment or Facebook/Instagram me and we can talk.