Brief absence..

I know I haven’t written lately, but never fear, I’m still here.

My physical health is okay, and my mental health is meh.

Starting with my mental health; I have seen a therapist for the past month to two months. It helps some, but there are times I still have issues. For an example, I almost had a panic attack at work one night as one of my top leaders started asking me all these questions and every time I didn’t know an answer or gave an answer he didn’t like, he just shrugged it off. What made it worse is that he did it unexpectedly too. A few nights after that, I had an anxiety attack as I was talking to a friend about it. I was rapidly breathing, my heart was racing, and there were moments where I almost couldn’t breathe. Since then, I have had another anxiety attack, but that one I was able to calm myself down.

As for my physical health; I still have my lingering shoulder pain from when I hurt it in our softball tournament back in August. I still have a bad knee that has plagued me since high school and I know is falling apart on me. I also think I have a strained neck that has brought me down a few times at work because the pain has been bad. I also have a bigger concern. My heart has been giving me some issues at times. There are times where my beats per minute is in the 80-90 range and then all of the sudden it jumps up to near 120-130+. Not only that, my oxygen saturation level drops off and it worries me because there are times I can’t breathe.

So yeah, how are you doing?

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Happy Thanksgiving.

So, I would post something long and sappy being Thanksgiving and how thankful for all of you in my life…

…but I won’t.

Instead, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving with family and friends. Please remember also to think about the ones who can’t be here whether they are members of your family, friends, or our troops overseas.

To my friends on here who don’t celebrate Thanksgiving (or had it earlier in the year), I hope you have a great rest of your day.

Tattoo? Maybe? Eh?

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This is an idea I had the other night while I was at work. The only thing I would do differently is make the Commonwealth (or state) of Virginia blue, but keep the semicolon orange.

Why orange and blue? Because the University of Virginia is and was my first love when it comes to college sports. Why the outline of Virginia? Because it is my home. Why do both? Because that way when I’m struggling, I can look at it and know that I’ve been through hell and back AND I have my home state watching over me in case I do mess up.

What do you think? I like this idea. I just need to get it done. Tattoo? Maybe? Eh?

I’m worried.

As I’m watching the news last night and into this morning and when it looked more and more likely that Mr. Trump was going to win, my anxiety started to creep up on me some.

Why?

It’s because I know a lot of people that are illegal immigrants (but have their green card and work permit), struggle through the same issues I have, and are part of the LGBTQ community.

I’m worried about all of them because; that medication used that I take for my anxiety and depression will sky rocket, I’m worried for my friends that are part of the LGBTQ community because either a lot of them have partners or are already married, and a lot of people that I work with and other friends will end up having to leave the  nation.

It’s a sad day in America. But then I remember also, everyone made a fuss eight years ago after Obama was elected and that turned out to be not too bad. Maybe something will happen with Mr. Trump? Like they say, the first one hundred days are the biggest ones to a President.

Please DO NOT leave political comments here. Thank you.

Election Day. My favorite day.

What is your favorite day of the year that is not your birthday or some major holiday?

Mine is Election Day. Why?

It is the one day of the year where we get to make our voices heard across our state/commonwealth and across the nation. It is the one day where we get to release our feelings finally and then hope and pray for the best.

As the results get ready to come in a few hours, I am interested to see how this turns out and see where we go as a nation from here.

To those that unfriended friends and family because of this election, I hope you guys learned that it is okay to have different opinions than your own. Not only that, but you should never discuss politics with friends and family. For me, I make mine brief if I were to bring it up.

Buckle up America. It’s going to be a fun ride.

This post is unbiased towards any candidate and is not endorsing anyone. Please make your own decision.

Just my life…

If there is anything that describes me, it would be this.

Every day I go to work, live my life, and do everything I can to make others happy. Most of the time, I forget about my own needs and when the time comes that I need some help, I don’t get a lot of it, or any at all. Of course, when you are like me and have anxiety and depression, this doesn’t usually go too well.

Like I mentioned in my last post, I do feel lonely at times and it makes me sad that there are not a lot of people I can turn to because most don’t know how to deal with it or say the wrong thing to irritate me.

I know the last few days I’ve felt a bit down and upset, but I still put on a happy face for everyone. I just have to learn to be more honest with myself…and to others.

That’s all for now. I hope everyone is having a great day.

Sometimes I just need someone..

Ever have the moments where you text or Facebook message someone and you never get a response back? Or if you do, it is much later and you know you can’t respond back because it is already too late in the day? Yeah, that’s how I’m feeling right now. I’m a bit upset and I wanted to talk to some people about it and I sent out 5-10 text messages and I maybe got 2 or 3 back, if that.

Of course, this makes me anxious that I am waiting for a reply, depressed that I haven’t gotten a response, and angry because usually these people are great at responding, even when they have a quick moment.

I know the world doesn’t revolve around me so don’t say that, but I do everything I can to respond to a message when someone needs to talk to me about something. Even while at work, if I have a moment, I’ll respond. May not be the best one, but it is one.

There are times actually where I go a whole day and my phone will not go off once, or if it does, it is for a notification, not a text message or phone call.

Sometimes, I just need someone. Especially when I’m feeling down, lonely, etc.

The Semicolon Movement

As many of you are aware, I have both anxiety and depression. I have suffered through these for a long time, and it was its worst when I was college. College was fun, yes, but when my grades suffered and I didn’t have much or many people to turn to, that is what made it harder. Just last weekend, I had a panic attack in my sleep. I was sleeping pretty well and then I woke up, got nervous about who knows what, and couldn’t breathe.

With that all being said, I’m not the person who you thought I was/am. I have been thought to be suicidal at times and while that may be true to some, I have been stronger than before and haven’t thought in a while.

Now, comes the part with The Semicolon Movement. Those with a semicolon as a tattoo get them to show that they could have ended their life, but decided to keep going. I have thought about getting one for myself, but I am unsure at the moment. If I were to get one, it would be green since green is my favorite color.

To those (like myself) that suffer through anxiety, depression, bipolar, or any other metal illness, you are not alone. We are all in this together and I love you all (as a friend). If you need anything, leave a comment or Facebook/Instagram me and we can talk.

Colin Kapernick: Friend or foe?

Before I get started, I would like to let you know that this post will view both sides of the coin and not just one.

You hear the Star Spangled Banner, what do you do? For most people, they will remove their hat, place their hand over their heart (or salute), and either sing or hum it to themselves.

On Friday night, San Francisco 49ers Quarterback Colin Kapernick refused to stand up for the playing of the national anthem. After he did this, it caused a huge uproar on social media and throughout the sports world. However, the National Football League released a statement in saying that it is not required for its players to stand during it.

Now what do I think of this?

The American and Patriot in me says what he did was absolutely wrong and he should be ashamed for his actions. I don’t care who you are and what you believe in, you should stand for the National Anthem because it is paying respect for those that died for the flag.

The other side of me says he has every right not to stand. It is not required to stand (like the league says) at every event and he is expressing his Free Speech/1st Amendment right. Shoot, I know people who don’t even stand for it and I normally don’t care.

Before you give him a hard time, think about it. Think about everything you don’t like. Just like him, you have an opinion too. It may not be the most popular one, but it is one.

Remember, this blog is unbiased and all opinions are solely of me and no one else.

Take pride, why don’t you?

As the Olympics get ready to come to an end down in Rio, I can’t help but think about all the athletes that are/were down there for the summer games.

Most, if not, all of these athletes were training for their moment for many years and while a lot of them may not come away with a medal, they  know that they still competed at the highest level and gave everything they could.

It seems like that a lot of times though, especially here in the United States, we can’t take pride in our athletes. Either because they shouldn’t be going to the games or we give so much criticism towards them that we forget that they are human too. Most likely as well, they will have accomplished something greater than what you have and are proud to be an American.

Also, a lot of this has to deal with Social Media. As soon as a picture of someone is posted and it is about something great, we (as a nation) spin it and want to turn it negative and/or blast that person. What happened to being nice and most importantly, didn’t you learn that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all? There are way too many negative people/posts that want to make a good story bad. It really angers me. Like, you have no idea.

If you are one of these people that can’t stand these people, then by all means, try and step into their shoes. You’ll see it is not that easy. I used to be a big runner, soccer, and hockey player myself, but you will never see me giving them or any Olympic athlete a hard time.

So the next time the Olympics, World Cup, or some other event is going on, think twice before giving your fellow countryman (or countrywoman) a hard time.